MERRY CHRISTMAS..TOES.. 2012!

The Christmas forecast IS for snow on pine-tree green! :)

ALL MY LOVE & ALL THE BEST TO ALL OF YOU! Thanks for reading along! 

Metallic? Pink? The Pedicure Joke is on ME, Motherf**kers!

     

Pink? Metal? Pink metal?!

     So, as we in the northeast rebound from the devastation of Hurricane Sandy (God bless everyone dealing with their own personal crises), I can finally jump on here and blog about the latest funniness from the toes world..  Three weeks ago, my pedi buddy Kellytoes & I went for our 60 minutes of pedicure bare feet bliss, and I saw this brand new metallic color called "Nothing Else Metals". Now, if you're gonna base a polish color on an awesome, classic Metallica song, I'm ALL in! So I went with it, and afterwards, everyone at the pedi place raved & commented on how amazing & "hot" my toes looked with this newly-applied shiny metal appearance! I thought my toes looked like Coors Light silver bullet cans! Awesome, right?! ..Well, I casually strolled into work the next day in my usual jeans & flipflops. No sooner did I make it upstairs to the 2nd floor, and one of my friends said, "You know your toes look totally pink, right?" Pink?! I don't do pink toes, I do ROCKSTAR toes! I only allow pink on my toes when it's time to support those raising money for the annual AVON breast cancer walk! So I hurriedly went around asking every chick I work with.. 50% said my toes look pink, 50% said they look metallic! WTF!?! Welp, I thought it looked absolutely kickass, so I am going on record as officially having "metallic pink" toes.. Hah, because I can. ;)   ....Stay tuned, next week is Christmas toes 2012!

They might be pink, but they're a whole lotta AWESOME!

Tales of the Ticklish: 'The Art of Laughter'! (Ticklish Laughs on Instagram!)

Instagram user's photo: laughter abounds!

     So, I had blogged a few months ago about how ridiculously ticklish the bottoms of my bare feet are, and how much I can't take the scrubby treatment at the pedi place (shookashookashooka), and how I crack up laughing, going into spastic convulsions, everytime that pumice rock gets dragged across my soles.. It scrapes off all the rough, dead skin, but, in the process, causes helpless giggling & gasping, as I try mightily to hold back the floodgates of the full-blown, roaring belly laughs! Well, it gets even funnier now, as there's a brand new Chinese girl at the nail salon, and it's a complete understatement to say that she LOVES tickling my feet, getting massive joy out of causing me to spasm & almost roll forward out of the pedi chair! And not just with the pumice scrubby stone, either! I have had this new nail girl for my last three pedis now, and not only does she crack up laughing at me as she gives me extra long foot scrubs, extending my hilarious torture, she also will sneak multiple tickles in the arches of my feet with her fingers..(!!!)..  Okay, now that IS kinda' funny, right?? A professional pedi girl, who loves how ticklish my feet are to the point that she is tickling my feet with her fingernails at various points during the 75 minute pedicure session! (I pay for the extra massage, and it's usually during this time that the girl repeatedly tickles my feet, when I have my eyes closed for the massage and don't see it coming! LOL!!).. And if that doesn't sound funny enough, the woman in the chair next to me told me, last week, "I could sit here and watch you go through that tickle torture everyday!" ..Now, I love ticklish feet so much, and think it's such a hysterically awesome, FUN subject, that I gotta share some photos here on my latest blogpost, that aren't mine, but that I recently saw on Instagram, and instantly fell in love with! They definitely illustrate that I'm not the only one who laughs reeeeeeeeally hard during pedicure tickle time! :)

Another Instagram user's "feet scrub" photo that I can't help but laugh at! That face on the right is just about the best "ticklish laughing face" that I've EVER seen!! :)

Bare Feet Wedding Fun, 2012, PART THREE!

TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF & DANCE!

     It's been a really good four weeks for FUN bare feet smiles! Three weddings over a one-month span, and, at ALL of them, it was all about going barefoot as soon as I got to my reception table and had a place to slip off my flip-flops (Yes, it may be fashionably wrong, but I don't care.. I DO wear flip-flops to weddings if it's warm enough! Easier to take off!).. So last week was my amazing friend Rachael's wedding at the gorgeous Fox Hollow in Woodbury, NY, and of course, me & my stunning date/friend, Jocetta (who also loves bare feet as much as I do) were barefoot by song #4. Literally. It was like, "Bride/groom enter, bride/groom have 1st dance, other couples slow dance, music picks up tempo, aaaaaaaand we're barefoot!" LOL!! ..And then we stayed barefoot all night, only putting shoes back on to go use the bathrooms (I did mention in an earlier blog that people suck because they MISS, and I sure-as-hell don't wanna be stepping in some dude's "miss"!).. So in the photos shown here (clockwise from top left): 1. I am pretty sure that Jocetta & I, who were the ONLY ones barefoot for the first three hours of the reception (some people just refuse to lose the shoes), have the best feet ever! People with shoes on kept complimenting our feet and specifically, my OPI-painted rockstar toes!.. 2. We then walked around the ritzy catering place barefoot, looking for artsy photo opportunities. So there's me, barefoot, in front of their cozy fireplace, in an artsy-fartsy candid photo..3. In the last hour, my boss' wife, and my friend Kerri (whose wedding I was barefoot boogie-ing at four weeks ago...) decided to finally take off their shoes and finally join us in barefoot dancefloor bliss.. 4. And finally, my beautiful Jocetta, dancin' barefoot, in black & white.. All in all, a great month (and expensive! Holy crap! Weddings ain't cheap dates! LOL!), and no apologies! We go barefoot when we can, we love it all the time, and we don't ever apologize for that love! 

Bare Feet Wedding Fun, Continued.. :)

Me & Nicole.. Bumpin' Butts & Barefoot Boogie-ing! LoL!

Last night was our family friend Jennifer's wedding, and, no surprise here, another great chance to rock the dancefloor barefoot all night! Drinks, laughs, family, friends, barefoot fun.. A PERFECT party!

My friends' beautiful daughter, loves the bare feet like I do, and was the only person there last night with shoes off faster than me! Hah, at least the next generation of Barefoot Nation is set! :)

Wedding Receptions & Back to Bare Feet!

Me & my beautiful (and as bare feet-addicted as I am) friend, Jocetta, at a wedding 9/14/12

... Well, that title might be a little misleading, because it's not like "bare feet" ever went away or anything! But I'm currently in the middle of a nice, fun stretch of being invited to three different weddings over a four-week period, so it's nice opportunity to do one of the things I love doing most: wearing flip-flops to wedding receptions (because it's still warm enough in September in NY to rock the flops), slipping those off about 45 minutes into the 4 hour chunk of partying, and then spending the rest of the reception barefoot, like most of my amazing female pals do as they take off their high-heels as fast as they possibly can. Life's just better barefoot, especially on a smooth dancefloor with a few drinks in ya'! But I just end up happily staying barefoot for almost the entire length of the reception, whether it's shuffling up to the bar for more drinks, bouncing around from table-to-table chatting with friends, or, of course, rocking the dancefloor! If you've never danced barefoot on a marble floor, I mentioned in an earlier blog how incredible the coolness feels to the bottoms of your bare feet.. Well, it's still absolute pure heaven! My beautiful female friends were onto that game a looooooong time ago, the "Taking Your Shoes Off" game, and I'm so glad I learned that life lesson from them! Hah, and, as I also mentioned in another earlier blog, I thank God, my Mom, & the Genetics Fairy frequently for blessing me with feet that are nice enough to pull off the "Bare Feet Fun Party Gorilla" act! LOL! Yeah, if I had gross, disgusting feet, then this silly game I play would never work! It also doesn't hurt that I am a pedicure-addict and take beyond-immaculate care of my feet, and rock these crazy colors/designs on my toes! People at weddings still go nuts over my toes, and for every uptight person that thinks, "You're a guy, you're not supposed to be barefoot. It's inappropriate.", there's a dozen people that say, "I LOVE that you're barefoot! That's so fun! And can I get a picture of your toes?!" Heh heh, those are my kinda' party people.. :)  ..It doesn't matter, because my bare feet & crazy toes are here to stay! Pure shoes-free HAPPINESS!

A FANTASTIC sign that my friend saw on all the tables at a wedding reception she was at, and she texted it to me.. Now tweaked & edited to make it PERFECT! :)

The Best of Summer Bare Feet 2012, and Hello, Autumn..

Life, especially in the summer is best when BAREFOOT  :)

     Summer's winding down, the kids went back to school today, so I guess it's time to recap summer's best barefoot moments..which would be pretty much "all summer long" (Hello, Kid Rock!), because if I'm not on the clock workin' the job, then there's a good chance I was happy & barefoot, anyway. Shoes still suck, feet naturally just WANT to be free, and a tiger can't ever change it's stripes! So, going clockwise in the photo here: 1. Barefoot shopping at Stop & Shop! Hah, this is something I've done since high school, not bothering to put shoes on to run to the store, mall, etc. .. I just don't care! Here, I was driving home from work on an 86 degree August day, and was driving home barefoot, having slipped my flipflops off for the hourlong commute. I remembered that I needed a few things from the grocery store, so I pulled into the Stop & Shop lot, parked, and exited the car. I looked at my flip-flops, and thought, "Naaaaaah", and just non-chalantly strolled into the store barefoot! My pal, Lorraine, tells me that when I do this, this whole thing of going into stores barefoot & not caring, that I have a "Barefoot Swagger" about me! LOL!! Ok, then! Barefoot swagger, it is! Now, if you've never gone into a supermarket barefoot before, then you really have NO idea how good those cold marble or slate floors feel to the bottoms of your bare feet!! Most females that dance barefoot at weddings (like my big gorilla ass does!) know what it feels like, because it's the same sensation as the marble floor at a nice catering hall! Pure HEAVEN on bare soles! Put it this way, it feels so good, it's worth the "risk" of some surly manager walking up to you to reprimand you for breaking the "Shoes Required" rule! Whatever, dude!  ..2. Sunrise & bare feet, and no photo filter on that shot. Those colors are natural..  3. My 4th of July toes (in HDR).. 'Nuff said on that, my toes just rock, ALWAYS! Especially in the course of reppin' the US of A..  4. Paid for a fantastically refreshing pedicure one Sunday morning, then spent the whole rest of that day barefoot, outdoors, and completely trashed my newly pedicured feetsies! Oh well, that's what soap & water, and hopping up and down one one foot in front of the bathroom sink, before climbing into bed is for! :)
     So, in closing, summer was great, as it usually is.. but bring on the fall, I say! I'll still be flipfloppin' with jeans until the temps drop into the mid 40's! And I have three weddings to attend over the course of Sept. & Oct.. I WILL be flip-flopping into all those receptions, for the express purpose of slipping those babies off & rockin' those parties barefoot ALL night long! Get ready! Plenty more silly, funny, shoes-free pics to come!

Ouch! Bare Feet Injuries = NOT Fun!

TV meets foot, foot loses!

     As I happily roll through life, trying not to wear shoes as much as possible (and only wear flip-flops when I DO have to actually wear shoes), I am reminded of some of those not-so-pleasant times where, what started out as "bare feet fun" ended up with a decidedly negative outcome. Now, for me, the positives of being a "barefooter" far, far outweigh the negatives, so it's not like I'm suddenly going to be changing my ways or anything! But, dropping a TV on my bare foot, yesterday morning (which led to some nice vulgarities being yelled at maximum volume), definitely galvanized me to write this blog!! Hah, it's still sore, may be fractured or bone-bruised on my instep, but, like a true "No Shoes" trooper, I'll get through it! 
     But, continuing the boo-boo theme, another injury that you could see coming a mile away would be glass in my foot...which happened when I was dancing barefoot for 4 hours at my pal Meghan's incredible wedding reception! It was soooooooo much fun & happiness being barefoot for almost the entire length of the reception, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that the chances for a dropped beer bottle, or drink glass, that shatters and leaves a lil' shard laying around, are pretty damn good! Hell, I was probably the silly drunk that dropped the glass! Needless to say, that lil' shard ended up in my heel, and I didn't even realize it until I got back to the Ramada Inn, and, as I was walking barefoot through the hotel lobby (carrying my shoes), I heard the clicking of the glass in my heel against the lobby's marble floor. ..(Step..click..step..click..step..click)..Yes, I heard the little glass visitor before I ever felt it was there.. I told you I was drunk.. :)

Barefoot Wedding fun, only slightly disrupted by this lil' guy in my foot!

     Last but not least, what is worse than a summertime landmine?! "Landmine?", you ask? By that, I mean a pile of dog crap that someone neglected to clean up, or, if you're barefoot outdoors at night, a SLUG squishing up between your toes?!?!! Ugh! I have had numerous experiences with both, and both require someone grabbing me the dish soap off of the kitchen sink, and a garden hose, so I can sit there and get all of the gross off of my feet, all the time muttering, "I probably should have shoes on.." ...But don't worry, my bare feet friends.. That feeling never, ever lasts. I always just gotta be me! Which does not require shoes to accomplish..

4th of July Toes, 2012.. "You Can Still ROCK in America!"

Happy 4th of July, Crazy Toes friends!

As a true patriot and lover of our great nation, it is a yearly, welcome tradition for me to get the American flag on my toes, in some form or variation! I find what works best is that the big toes get the dark blue and the white stars, and then the other toes get done as a red or white stripe, alternating... Gotta love it! But the silly, funny conversation that just happened ten minutes ago, between my amazing pal, Kelly (the beloved Kellytoes) & me was my favorite moment of today, so far! I sent her the pic that I am uploading to this blogpost, and Kelly responded, "OMG! So great!! If Uncle Sam got pedicures, his feet would totally look like this!".. Which then I responded back, "Yeah, but I'm probably more ticklish on my feet than Uncle Sam! From the looks of that serious grimace face on all the classic 'I WANT YOU' posters, I don't think he would ever laugh during a pedicure, whatsoever!!" LOL!!..Then Kelly typed back, "Haha!! I'm sure if we gave his feet a good scrubbing, we would definitely get a giggle out of him!!" ...LMAO!!! Ok, holy crap, that right there put the funniest visual in my head for this 4th of July holiday: Uncle Sam, in a pedicure chair, with his red & white striped pants rolled up over his kneecaps, getting the bottoms of his bare feet pumice-"tickle scrubbed", roaring with belly-laughter, with his little white tuft-beard flying all over the place as he laughs!! So deliciously hysterical to even contemplate that fictional silliness!! Hah, not only can you still rock in America, you most definitely can still laugh in America! Have a great, happy, barefoot 4th of July everyone, and God bless our armed forces, wherever they may be!

Why NOT Pedi? (A Redux)

It's been over 3000 blog views since I first started this crazy bare feet/awesome toes blog journey, so I figure I'll re-post the verrrrry first entry, for the benefit of new visitors! What's up, all'a you barefoot newbies?! Enjoy the fun trip, & the laughs...

I love my toes, I can't help it! ;)

First off, I don't have a "foot fetish", per se. If you do, hey whatever, it's all good, I don't judge people (or at least I TRY not to). But I don't sneak around creepily sniffing other people's shoes, or doing, uhhh, "self gratification acts" to pictures of feet. I don't really quite get that aspect of the whole thing, but it's 2012, so if that's your thing, then whatever floats your boat (as long as you ain't a "Jerry Sandusky" type) is your business...  ..Me, I just absolutely hate wearing shoes, looooove going barefoot as much as possible, and now have what I would term a "healthy addiction" to pedicures! This silly, artsy, pedicured toes game that I play started 3 yrs ago, at a drunken football playoff party (Chargers/Steelers AFC title game) when my buddy's wife found out that I was getting regular pedicures to take care of my feet (and because they just feel freakin' AWESOME, especially with the extra foot massage & hot gel soak!), and said to me, "That's really great that you get pedis, but I bet you don't have the balls to get your toes painted black!"  ..I didn't have to answer her, because my pal turned to her and said, "Why would you say that to him? You KNOW he will!" ...(Editor's note: I'll do just about anything that won't get me locked up, screw up my career, or make me a parapelegic)... Painted toes are easy, they ain't permanent like tattoos! If you get sick of it, there's always nail polish remover! And I haven't gotten sick of it yet, there's been waaaaaaaay too many great compliments from both random strangers and friends alike! Some think it's hilarious, some think my feet are hot (C'mon, you know they are, stop fighting it), some think I'm a complete psycho, some think I'm playing for "the other team" (insert the Seinfeld, "Not that there's anything wrong with it!" line here)..whatever anyone thinks, I love the whole pedi process, and love taking it to the extreme (which you can all see from the uploaded pics on this blog)! The basic rule is, if you're gonna enjoy going barefoot as much as I do (which is basically "whenever, wherever"), then take care of your goddamn feet. No one likes looking down and seeing two ugly, hygiene disasters attached to your ankles. ..And to tell the truth, I love & cherish my time with my amazing ladies at the pedi place. My female friends, wives of my guy pals, & complete random stranger chicks...AND the chinese girls who work there..all seem to get pure elation outta seeing me in that pedi chair, seeing me struggle not to laugh when they do that ticklish scrubby thing to the bottoms of my feet, and, finally, marveling at whatever crazy art design I decide to get my super-talented pedi girl to slap down on my ten lil' celebrities! No exaggeration, the compliments on the finished work are always off-the-charts! Yep, it's ALL good! ..And celebrity bank accounts be damned, if Gene Simmons, Ozzy Osbourne, Shaq, Bruce Willis, & Chuck Liddell can get their toes painted, then f*ck it, so can I...  Stay tuned, the fun feet journey continues.. :)

Bare feet, and warm sunshine. You can't beat this combo..

I'm not lying... They are pretty good for a dude's feet, right?!  ;)

Tales of the Ticklish: Tickle Sneak Attacks & More Pedicure Fun!

     Happy Memorial Day 2012 to everyone, and I hope everyone takes a moment out of their BBQ-ing to remember the true meaning of the holiday this weekend.. Thank you to our troops for all their sacrifices, past, present, & future, and for protecting all of our freedoms, and defending our nation against all comers.     
     ...OK, now let's all laugh! The "Tales of the Ticklish" series is definitely the most popular part of this dumb, crazy blog that I write on pedicures, bare feet, and just being silly & having fun, so let's keep that ball rolling with more fun stories of laughter & squirming! :)

STILL LAUGHING

     Years and years ago, my buddy was dating this really cool chick named Dawn, who was hilarious, sexy, & fun-as-hell, GREAT sense of humor! Their relationship fell apart as my pal hooked up with someone else, but I maintained a strong friendship with Dawn, hoping that it may eventually become something more than friends, because I thought we just clicked reeeeeally well. One night, I was over her place, with a few bottles of wine, and we were watching TV on her gigantic, L-shaped couch, getting tipsy. We were both barefoot, which is no surprise to anyone that knows me, plus Dawn was "anti-shoes" just like me.. And she LOVED tickling! I found this out from the many times she couldn't resist tickling my ribs to make me jump anytime we were all out together, once tickling me at her family's BBQ, and when I jumped/spasm'd, she laughed out loud and said, "Isn't that (tickling) the best?!!" ..(Yes, yes, indeed it is, Dawn! LOL!) ..So, we were sprawled out on opposite ends of the couch, feet-to-feet, talking & laughing & reminiscing, when in walks her sister from some party, totally bombed on wine coolers. She saw me sitting on the couch, screamed, "Al!!!!", and ran over to the couch to give me a big, sloppy, drunken hug. After leaning over & hugging me, she turned around, and sat clumsily down on my stretched-out legs, on top of my ankles, pinning my bare feet in place, and asked, "That doesn't hurt, does it? Do you want me to move?".. I told her it was totally fine, and she joined in Dawn & I's conversation, asking how I was and how life was going, yada yada yada. But literally, about 60 seconds after asking how I was doing, she glanced down at my pinned-down bare feet, smiled an impish, evil smile, and said (slurred), "Hey, aren't you really ticklish on your feet?!".. With that question, Dawn instantly sat up, moved towards my trapped feet, and exclaimed, "YES, he is SO ticklish on his feet!!!" And then it was game on, and I had two sets of hands, 20 fingers (well, 16, minus the thumbs) with long fingernails, tickling the bottoms of my trapped bare feet & the undersides of my toes!! They both were loudly cracking up laughing as they tickled, and the sound that was coming out of my mouth was some mix of hysterical laughter, screaming, and telling them I needed a break or I was gonna lose all bladder control! LOL!!! They tickled my bare feet for about 3-4 minutes or so.. it coulda' been longer..but by that time, my upper torso had wriggled off the couch and I had inadvertently blasted my head into the leg of their coffee table.. Thanks for the bump on the noggin, girls! They finally showed some mercy, and we all just sat there, recovering, panting like we all just ran windsprints (no one can deny tickling is a helluva workout!), and giggling about how much fun that was. Their family had moved a few months after that, and we all lost touch with each other, but there's no denying that if I ever touched base with them today, even after many, many years, they would mention how fun & utterly hysterical that incident was. And I wouldn't be surprised at all if alcohol became involved, and we reenacted it.. :)
     Incidentally, in regards to ticklish feet, let's get back to PEDICURES! LOL! I was told I would get used to the super-ticklish pedicure scrubby that always cracks me up everytime I go for a pedicure. Well, after 3 years of pedicures, I gotta say, I still. Laugh. Everytime. ..Can't help it!

The Roadmap to Making ME Laugh... I Don't Think I'm Alone in This.. :)

And as far as ticklish feet for pedicures go, some YouTuber's Grandma here, is definitely as bad as I am, maybe even worse, if that's even possible!! ...Fantastic attempt to NOT laugh here! This should instantly put you in a better mood!

Bare Feet As Art, part 3: The Black & White Files..

Fell in love with the iPhone Hipstamatic photo app, and fell in love with the way my bare feet & crazy toes look in black & white, specifically the John-S lens w/ Claunch 72 Monochrome film! Here's an example of my best work.. so far.. :)

IT's ART, BABY! ..And, yes, it's fun, too!

Toes That Are METAL! \m/ (>,<) \m/

Essie's "Steel-ing the Scene"

One of my favorite looks for my toes is some kind of glistening metallic color.. But, with all this recent playing around with the new OPI Shattered or Cracklepolish phenomenon, I don't get metal on my toes at the pedi place nearly enough! So, now it's turn the amps up to 11 & it's back to the metal, as I just got Essie's "Over the Top" on my toes during last week's pedicure! It's a dark gun-metal blackish grey that completely ROCKS! I also equally love Essie's "Steel-ing the Scene", which is a kickass lighter steel color..  JUST PURE TOES AWESOMENESS!

Essie's "Over the Top"

Bare Feet As Art, part 2 (The Art Never Stops!)

TaDaa's "OtherLand" filter

We previously talked about how cool..and, yes..how silly it is turning bare feet and toes (especially my top-notch toes) into art, using neat & unique angles, or original-looking photo filters to process the pictures. Well, between Instagram, and now TaDaa also, we can continue that discussion, and rock some more great examples of how to make bare feet & rockin' toes totally cool to stare at & admire, and not feel like something's completely wrong with you! ..(There's not.) .. :)

OtherLand filter, plus a few other filters layered on top

Rockin' Toes = Random Awesome Comments!

Easter 2012 is OPI's Lincoln Park After Dark (super dark purple) with white OPI Shattered... No pastels this year, I wasn't bombed! :)

So, you gotta figure, with fantastic looking toes like mine, and my penchant for never wearing shoes (or only wearing flip-flops if I MUST wear shoes), that I would get many comments on my unique & "crazy" behavior! Well, I surely never coulda' imagined how fun some of the random commentary would be! I've had a black girl tap me on the shoulder at the liquor store, and ask me, "What is that on your toes? It looks absolutely amazing!" ..(That was black Shattered on bright neon blue that time).. I've had an elderly white woman, on line in back of me at Costco, tell me, "I have never seen such beautiful feet on a man before! I'm sorry, but I can't stop staring at them!" ..And the best comments are usually reserved for at the pedicure place, where the all patrons loooooooove striking up a fun conversation about feet with "that hilarious big guy who gets his toes painted"!! ..BUT the kicker was two weeks ago, as I am sitting there with my pal Kelly, getting our 1 hour "feet therapy" session in (that's how we refer to pedi's), two girls sitting to our left started commenting how they thought my feet were SO cool, how much they loved that I was sitting there getting my toes taken care of, and even more blown away by the fact I was letting the Asian girl rock some colors on my toes...as usual! Then one of them says to me, "Could you do me a favor and talk to my boyfriend on the phone? I want him to come get a pedicure with me so badly, but he is totally afraid to!" I laughed and told her to dial him up, and then hand me the phone, so she did, laughing as well. The dude's name was Jared, and my lecture went like this: "Yo, is this Jared? What's up, bro? You don't know me, but this is Big Al.. I'm sitting here next to your chick up at U2 Nails, and she told me you have atrocious feet, but you won't come get a pedicure with her! What the hell's wrong with you, dude? She loves you, and wants you to spend some more quality time with her! Get up here and let these girls take care of your shitty feet! Your girl is tired of sandpaper feet & sharp nails rubbing up against her legs in bed!" ...Then there was a pause, and Jared meekly said to me, "But I'm kinda self-conscious & nervous about sitting there." ..To which I roared, "Dude!! I'm the size of a rhinoceros and I'm sitting here!  And I let the girls put wacky colors on my toes, too! You don't even have to go that far, just get up here and get your feet taken care of! For your girlfriend, bro!!!" ..With that, I handed the phone back to the girl, and then the entire nail staff, the other customers, Kelly, & myself, were all laughing uproariously about how hysterically funny that moment in time was! Kelly said to me, "That was the greatest thing I have ever had happen while getting a pedicure and I am so glad I was here to witness it!" ..Funny: That's how I roll, baby! That's what it's all about! "Take care of your shitty feet!!"

St. Patrick's Day Toes! "Erin Go Barefoot!" :)

2010's Flag of Ireland toes!

2012 Shamrocks..with some white Shattered too!

Well, come on, who's thinking I wouldn't do some kinda' awesome "Irish action" on my toes for the sacred drinking holiday of the year?! ..(Easy, faithful flock, that was a joke..) ...I do St. Patrick's Day toes EVERY year, 3 years & counting now! Enjoy your Bass Ales & Jameson, everybody!

How I sat AT the pedicure place.. Yes, I ROCK!


 

2009's Shamrocks!

Bare Feet As Art? ..Why Not?!

Maybe my favorite picture of my toes ever! Hipstamatic RULES!

More Hipstamatic "black & white" photo works

Hipstamatic, on a rainy rooftop! :)

My feet, with "pencil-paint" effect

     On this "crazy toes" journey that I'm happily on, and due to the fact that I hate wearing shoes more than just about anything, I am discovering that bare feet, specifically mine, make for some really cool & really artistic photo subjects! Maybe it's because I have some unique ideas bouncing around in my warped brain (or that I'm just plain off-my-rocker), but there's no denying that it works! Most dudes have horrific feet anyway, so this is something I am lucky enough to be able to play around with, due to the fact I was blessed with some pretty awesome feet. Most chicks have great feet too, of course, but if you wanna do artsy photo stuff with their tootsies, some tend to look at you like you're some fetish weirdo (Uh, no insult meant to any fetish weirdos!), and run the other way! LOL! Well, I'll keep doing art stuff with my ten lil' celebrities, hopefully keep entertaining y'all with the inherent silliness of it all (an ape like me who gets his toes painted), and hopefully keep gathering new fans! For more bare feet/crazy toes photo art, and other fun photos too, follow me on Instagram: @bigalhall ..Much love to you ALL! Stay barefoot! :)

Water reflection effect

FLIP-FLOPS In a NY Winter! ..(a.k.a. A Good Result of Climate Change)

FEBRUARY 15th! 

     Okay, I know this supposed man-made global warming (now called "climate change") is talked about as a bad thing (and no, I am not pitching a view on it here, nor do I wanna argue about yours. This is a fun blog about crazy cool toes & bare feet fun, remember?).. But I gotta tell ya', living here in NY, and usually having nothing but flithy grayed-out snow (& crunchy annoying ice) on the ground at this time of the year..  Well, as a barefooter who only wants to wear flip-flops, when shoes are an absolute must, I confess I am LOVING this current weather trend! I am much more cold tolerant than most, and have no problems wearing flip-flops with jeans when the temps are 40 degrees and up, and that has been the norm so far in the lower northeast. I realize sledders and snowman-makers aren't happy this year, but I love the fact that my "rockstar" toes get to be free & out-there, and it's almost March already! I also like not having to shovel my car out of a 22-inch snow drift at 430 AM to go to work. Hello? So, I humbly apologize to the polar bears and the ski industry, but Barefoot Nation looooooves the winter of 2012, so far. Don't fret, I'm sure I'll hate climate change, and be bitching loudly come July, when it's 98 degrees and 92% humidity...

YES, WE SURE DO!

BAREFOOT: A Wine Named After My Life? ..WIN!

Enjoying Barefoot, while barefoot!

Still barefoot! 

"Barefoot" brand wine. I saw the bottle one day in the local liquor store, and chuckled to myself, "They named a wine basically after the way I live my life!" ..After all, as stated in earlier blogs, there's probably no one who loves goin' barefoot more than me when temperatures and/or circumstances allow (or sometimes even when they're less than ideal)... So, I bought the bottle to bring over a friend's house..it was the merlot..and, surprise! A GREAT bottle of wine! Which then led us to try their pinot grigio, the cabernet sauvignon, and their chardonnay. All of them were fantastic! The merlot was our favorite of their reds, and their pinot grigio was our favorite of their whites. But you really can't go wrong with any of their flavors, so pick some up. You don't even have to be a barefooter to enjoy it.. But, as we all know, life's better Barefoot, anyway! ;)

TESTIFY!

Sports Teams on Toes: The NY Football GIANTS

Superbowl is comin', lethal Tom Brady & the Pats are looming on the horizon! But here in NY, we just scream it, loud, n' proud (n' probably drunk)! "LET'S GO, BIG BLUE!" ..with toes that agree!  ...UPDATE: 2/06/12- CONGRATS to the newly-crowned champs, the NY FOOTBALL GIANTS! Great job, G-Men! But we know it was the magic of these awesome toes that truly helped out the cause! "All in!!" ;)

Congrats to the CHAMPS!

Tales of the Ticklish, TOO! :)

"The Roadmap to Laughter"

     Still ticklish? Sure you are! :) ...And since that great blogpost, some 2+ months ago, on the silly fun & hilarity of tickling ticklish feet, I was vigorously reminded that I left some classic tickle stories out! Well, it wasn't on purpose, but more that I was just running out of writing space. But some of my dear friends thought it would be fun to share their cute & funny stories, so now we go ahead and write a "ticklish" sequel! Hah, rev up the laugh machine, because here we go..
     First up is my beautiful friend, Beth..my great pal, who is one of the most physically active people I know. She is phenomenal looking, one of the best personalities you could ever know, loves working out, kicks ass at it, and puts an incredible amount of hard work in as an elite runner...and, as luck would have it, has craaaaaazy ticklish feet! I, of course, did not know this fantastic fact, until one great night out with our gang of friends, throwing back some (many) drinks at our local sports grill. We were gathered around our little area of the bar, talking & laughing, some of us were standing, some of us were sitting on stools. I was seated, and Beth was sitting next to me, on a bar stool also. And so, at one point, she swung her legs up and plopped her feet  down in my lap. Now, to me, putting your feet in my lap always means that you are craving a foot massage, because I'm not just some couch ottoman (footrest, for you vocabulary-challenged).. Not so abnormal, right? I looooooooove giving (and getting) foot massages, but I usually give far, FAR more than I ever receive. It's just how it is. I totally don't mind this fact at all, because I am a "giver", and, when you boil it down to basics, I just love making all the females that I care about feel reeeeeeeeally good & HAPPY. And I am not bragging whatsoever when I say that I am outstanding at the foot massage...once even told that my foot massages were "better than any you could ever pay for"! Hah! Yes, indeed! So, this story here took place during the summer, and Beth had easy-off gold-colored sandals on. With her feet now on my lap, I slipped the sandals off, and began the process of working all the stress out of her body thru the bottoms of her bare feet. I could see that it was working, feel the tension leaving her slowly, and I kept up the foot massage as we all kept shooting the sh#t, talking about whatever the conversation topic was at the time. Of course, like I stated in the 1st "Tales of the Ticklish" blog, some of the best & funniest feet-tickle moments always stem from a foot massage, and here was no different! No, after a few minutes of therapeutic massage, I absolutely couldn't resist gently running the tips of my fingers across the bottoms of Beth's feet, just to see what would happen. To see if it would get a laugh, or not get a laugh. Perfect reaction! A flinch, a gasp, a big smile, a great giggle, and, of course, a reason to keep tickling! Beth has a fantastic laugh, and it's very contagious, which of course, made ME start laughing too!...(and now this is where the funny part comes in).. Her spectacular laughing musta' attracted the attention of the males sitting around us, the ones not with us in our group of 5 or 6 friends, because Mark the bouncer walked over with a big grin on his face, and said, sternly but very much jokingly, "Bro, you gotta stop that! These guys are getting waaaay too turned on watching her!" Haha! I was done with the quick tickle experiment anyway, and gave Beth a chance to catch her breath from laughing & squirming, but finished the foot massage like any pro would.. ...And I got a real kick out of an unexpected bare feet tickle moment, that basically came outta nowhere, and provided me with another fantastic, fun story to share on here!

Inversion table while barefoot = easy, sneaky tickle opportunity! :) ..Read on..

     Now, I am gonna deviate a little bit from the next tickle tale, because this latest occurrence is much, MUCH funnier than what I was gonna originally write! ..Have you ever been on an inversion table? Ever SEEN what an inversion table looks like? It's those table-looking contraptions that you lay on, and then hang upside down, to supposedly relieve pressure on your spine & relax your back, negating gravity's effects for a few minutes. We got one for my mother, for Christmas, and I put it together recently, and hopped on to give it a test run, because I'm a monstrous beast, so if it can hold me, it can hold anyone. You get locked in at your ankles, and when I was testing it out, I was barefoot (I think you're supposed to wear sneakers or shoes with this thing, but I just hate wearing shoes, so it is what it is!). I couldn't help but notice my trapped bare feet, bottoms sticking straight-up when I was perpendicular upside down, helplessly exposed (see pic below-that's me!), and thought, "Ohhhhh man, this is probably the best feet tickle-trap ever!"..Except for that pesky, "blood rushing to your head", thing while you're spastically laughing from being tickled! LOL! ..Well, my niece had a bunch of her friends over last Friday night (a loud gaggle of 12 yr. olds), and I was doing something in the other room, when I heard hysterical laughing, with one of the girls yelling, "QUIT IT!!" while she was laughing! Sure enough, Justin (one the boys that was over hanging out with them) was tickling the bottoms of Zoe's bare feet while she was trapped! I thought to myself, "Yep, that kid is definitely a future feet tickler too, if he's already starting at 12!" LMAO!! ..And when I showed my female friend (who loooooooooooves tickling people) this inversion table, she flat out said, "I can't wait until you're upside down in that with your feet sticking out! Oh yes, I forsee an eventual youtube comedy moment coming down the pike! Hopefully sooner than later :)

The view from down under! ..And yeah, bottoms-of-feet would definitely be irresistible in this!

Fish Love Feet? Who Knew?! ...Jen's Guest Column, on Fish Pedicures!

In the fish world, dinner is served!

      My friend Jen Z. is a righteously cool & amazing person with an insatiable thrill for adventure & travel, and truly lives life to the absolute fullest. Many people claim to "live life to the fullest", but my great pal talks that talk, and then truly walks that walk..with gigantic, Godzilla-sized steps! You can read about her worldwide exploits & experiences at www.adventuretravelgal.com (the AdventureTravelGal picture on the left side of this page will also take you there if you click on it), a truly mind-blowing and awe-inspiring collection of her tales, and recommendations, from all the places she's visited & explored! Now, what would all of that have to do with a fun blog on bare feet, toes, & crazy pedicures, you ask? Wellllllll, it just so happens that, while Jen was in traveling/exploring in Cambodia, she visited a spa that offered fish pedicures! Where the fish in the tank chow down on the dead skin on your feet, while you soak! I am gonna let Jen tell the tale in her own words, from the Cambodia section of her blog, in "Special Trips":  
     "...One of the more obscure activities available in this country was the Fish Spa!  In the evening outside on the streets of Siam Reap you are able to pay a few bucks, haul your butt up on a 2×4 resting over a human sized fish tank filled with small or medium sized fish (depending on your nibble preference!) and get a Fish Pedicure!  Once you grab your cocktail and put your well-traveled kicks in the water the fish flock to your feet, and the areas screaming for much needed attention in particular, and start to chew away the dead and dry skin.  Hmmm, not something I would do all the time, I still kinda prefer the actual salon.  However, when my little guys came out of the water they were smooth as if 10 cosmeticians had been exfoliating for 3 hours!  Impressive!" 
      I had read in multiple places, that the fish pedicure experience tickles a LOT, and had seen two different TV news reports where the reporters trying it out both started cracking up laughing when the fish started snacking. But I am definitely curious as to whether or not a "fish pedi" tickles as much as an Asian girl with a pumice scrubby-stone and evil (funny) intentions! LOL! I  guess the only way to truly find out is to find a place here that offers it, and just jump in, give it a try! However, I asked Jen to rate the ticklishness, on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being not ticklish at all, 10 being crazy, laughing ticklish). She continues: 
     "...It was a cross between tickly and weird. I mean they were nibbling the dead skin off so it was peculiar...plus the way you are sitting over the tank, I felt like I was waiting to be dunked or something. And then you're in the middle of a busy Asian thoroughfare, with thai food smells wafting past you in the air. An odd combination. But a 7 on ticklishness, I think! I was giggling like a kid, kinda embarrassed. If you like your toes sucked or nibbled, then you would like this!" ...Now THAT, my friends, is hilarious! Thanks, Jen! .. Remember that website: www.adventuretravelgal.com.. Check it out, subscribe to her blog, and prepare to be mesmerized & have a strong desire to actually get out there and explore! And, on the day I find a place close by that offers this unique experience, I'm ALL in! ...And, yes, I WILL post a video! ;)

LOOK AT THE SIGN IN THE BACKGROUND! "NO PIRANHA!" ..Gee, thanks for clearing that up!!


  

"Nom Nom Nom..."