CHRISTMAS TOES 2011!

Me & Kelly



Me & Jocetta



Not a lot to say, just Merry Christmas to all!! Especially us barefooters & pedicure fans! (artwork by Nina, Jim, & Annie at U2 Nails)




Candy canes, baby!




 



Jocetta's fingers & toes snowmen!

Barefoot?..."It Ain't Just Me..(Hey, Darlene!)"

Darlene Rodriguez, NBC news. Barefoot on the air = HUGE win!

     So, Darlene Rodriguez, on the NBC morning news, was my favorite AM newsperson, even before I found out that she used to always "secretly" be barefoot on-air (before they switched to the current glass, see-thru desk) because she's just sooooooo fun & easy-going, and makes early mornings much easier to deal with! But when I read this awhile back, in Newsday, I laughed, because I would TOTALLY be barefoot on-air too! LOL!! Why the hell wouldn't you?? Way more fun, waaaaaay more comfy! Hah, and like with anything else I do, I surely got the nice enough feet to pull it off! It might not be "proper", per se, to be a barefoot newsanchor, but, then again, is it proper when I am happily rockin' a wedding reception dancefloor barefoot for over four hours? Probably not, but who cares, right? Have some fun in life!!  :) ...So, from that article I just mentioned: "Next time you tune into the NBC morning show, 'Today in New York', look really closely at the anchor’s feet, you might get a glimpse of Darlene Rodriguez’s toes, thus discovering her deep, dark secret: she delivers the news barefoot! A barefoot anchor may make co-workers a tad uncomfortable, but at NBC studios no one seems to mind. 'So far I haven’t had any complaints!' Darlene laughed. Only a few seconds before she goes on air and despite the studio’s hot lights, Darlene is as cool as can be. While sitting at the news desk, she slips off her shoes and admits that she 'likes to be barefoot' during her broadcast. 'Once the air hits my toes, I'm good to go!'"  ...Ok, I simply LOVE it! That, right there, is exactly the fun & "don't take yourself too seriously" type of mentality that I love most about being a barefooter & "No Shoes" person! Nice to know that Darlene agrees with me! But alas, the big desk is now gone, and, in its place, a small glass desk that her & Michael G. sit at for the AM broadcast, thereby forcing the shoes to now stay on! Booooooooo! Sorry, Darlene! This "total barefooter" totally feels for ya'! Hey NBC, bring back the big "take your shoes off" desk! Do it for Darlene! :)

Keepin' the ROCK Alive...on Toes!



"The hottest toes in the land....KISS!"



Van Halen toes



Quite simply, if the logo or band image fits on my toes, I'll go for it! Gotta represent, show some respect for the rock GODS! And my girl Annie is definitely talented enough to pull off almost any artwork I challenge her with! So far we've done KISS, Van Halen, & AC/DC. Logos that are on the horizon: the Twisted Sister "TS", maybe RATT, and maybe the ZZ Top "double ZZs keychain" logo! Rock on!



For those about to rock...we take off our shoes and show these babies!!





Tales of the Ticklish! :)

My ridiculously ticklish bare soles!
Can be seen at just about every
wedding reception, rockin' the
dancefloor! :)



 "Are ya' TICKLISH? Hmm?"  :)





"'Cettababy" 
(looooves a "rake"!)

     ...Go ahead, say it. It's Ok, normal, if you feel a smile curling at the corners of your lips. Just the word, "ticklish", does tend to make you smile when you see it or say it! Tickling, itself, elicits a great feeling of fun & laughter, and sometimes it conjures up complete, cartoonish silliness. Some people are turned on by it...That's totally fine, but that's really not what this is about. This piece here is kind of a continuation of what was started a few blogs back, about that comical pedicure scrubby and keeping that brand of silly "funny" going...and it's also a letter of endless gratitude to 4 very special people in my life, for their priceless friendship & the continued positive light & laughter that they bring into my soul. Hah, it just so happens to be about tickling soles!..Truth be told, some of us love lightly running a finger up a bare foot to spur on a "gasp & giggle (Hah, some of us just can't resist the urge to tickle if the opportunity is there), or having it done to us in return. Those pedicure girls sure seem to love dishing it out with their pumice stones while you sit, twitching, in their cushy massage chairs. But, even away from the pedicure places, some of us grew up loving the frequent feet tickling scenes in the Three Stooges, Flintstones, the Little Rascals, or countless other TV shows & cartoons. In fact, I ask this simple question: Has anyone reading this ever been in a bad mood after tickling feet/getting tickled? No way, not unless you had a loss of bladder control, or you weren't allowed to breathe-That's usually the only time someone will get annoyed & pissed off! Otherwise it's usually fun & laughs...and "More, please!"

The "RAKE"

     And I'm not alone. Some of my dearest friends here feel exactly like I do, and throughout our history, there's been many hilarious funny feet tickling incidents, and now we're gonna share some of the humor with the world, maybe make a few new people laugh, too! First up is my beautiful pal, Jocetta, with the most addicting laugh you'll ever love to hear (you'd want it as a ringtone, it's THAT good!).. The best part about all my friends mentioned here, in this blog, is that they are all CRAZY ticklish on the bottoms of their feet like me, and their reactions are just hysterical & always worth watching a repeat of! So, Jocetta & I were having a perfectly silly-ass conversation about tickling, and how much we both loved it, as she had her feet in my lap getting a foot massage (Hah, that's how most of these get started! Once the feet are in the lap, it's only a matter of time 'til the laughs begin!), and we exchanged tickles on each other's bare feet, taking turns, keeping it fun, but mellow. But she had moderately long fingernails, which tickled me a LOT more than I think she was receiving. I had short, groomed, guys' fingernails, which did make her laugh & spasm nicely, but I knew I had to up my game to get bigger, better laughs! Then one day, I was at 7-11, getting a coffee. On the checkout counter, there was a cup with small, extendable, metal back-scratchers for $3.99, and these things resembled a small leaf rake! As soon as I laid eyes on these mini-rakes, I immediately thought, "Oh man those things would just be AWESOME on the bottoms of feet!!" ..Hah, yes, these are the types of dumb things that go through my mind.. Well, guess what? That rake worked like a charm! You know it's good when the person getting "the rake" lets out a huge, uncontrollable belly laugh and exclaims, "OH MY GOD, that tickles SO much!!" ..Score!! The trick with it is to know just exactly how much pressure to use: Too lightly, it'll barely register. Too much, it'll hurt and/or annoy. ..And just to let you know, if you can't get your hands on one, a plastic fork works wonders on bare soles too! In fact, we nicknamed that one, "Getting Forked". As in, "Hey, feel like getting forked?" ..Love my 'Cettababy! Jocetta + me + Corona lights + "the rake" = never a dull hang!

     Next up is my sweet, wonderful & too-amazing-for-words friend, Ruby. The funny feet tickling incident with us wasn't that long, only a few minutes at best, but it's all the surrounding stuff that makes this story so good! I had the incredible, blessed fortune of meeting Ruby while on vacation at a kickass 5-star resort in Acapulco, Mexico, in 1998. I was staying there with my friends at a timeshare they owned, and Ruby was there, vacationing with her own group of friends. We ended up meeting at a pool-aerobics class (that's a story in itself), and totally hit if off as friends, with a shared sense of humor and a genuine love of laughing, and both of us having the instant ability to make each other crack up without warning. One night during that week's vacation, Ruby came down with a really bad stomach ache that prevented her from taking the 45 minute cab ride into downtown Acapulco for another night of alcohol-fueled fun, so I was chilling out in her hotel room, keeping her company. Sitting at the foot of her bed, rubbing her feet to try and help her relax, I inadvertantly (I swear it was accidental!) raked a finger across her bare sole, causing a tremendously cute flinch & laugh. Of course, when she laughed, I laughed also, and then I HAD to tickle her foot again, getting the same wonderful reaction. Then a third time before she jerked her foot back in a big, ticklish spasm. At this point, I couldn't help notice that the soles of her bare feet were very light, almost white, in contrast with her deep, extreeeeeemely dark Latina tan. I made the comment about the color contrast, and Ruby said that the dark tan/white bottoms made her feet looked like a monkey's feet! So I joked that I wondered if she could peel a banana with her feet, then! ..Lo and behold, there was a banana in a fruit basket in her hotel room! Game on!! Yes, it is true..Ruby sat there, stomach ache and all, and peeled a banana using only her toes! And thus, the nickname "Monkeyfeet" was born...A nickname that still exists 13 yrs. later! I absolutely LOVE my Monkeyfeet, and I value our friendship more than Fort Knox's gold!

Nicole, my childhood "tickle nemesis", 
and possessor of the most 
contagious ticklish laughter out there!
Her ticklish laughter is like nitrous
oxide at the dentist: If you hear it, you 
absolutely WILL start laughing too!

    Next up in the "Tales of the Ticklish" is my dear, precious, stunning, childhood friend, Nicole, who I've known since I was 4 yrs. old. To say that Nicole has loved tickling my feet (and me getting her bare feet in return) since we were little kids, would be just about the most literal statement ever made! It's STILL going on now, even though we're supposedly "grown-ups"! Nicole has just about the most violent reaction ever when her feet are tickled, so if you plan on goin' in for the big laughs, just be aware that you have to protect your face from an accidental fat lip or black eye, and protect your groin from a spastic kick that turns the world into an orange flash of pain & the inability to breathe! Like with my other beautiful friends, feet tickles with Nicole tend to stem from "foot massages gone awry"...BUT Nicole is not adverse to just non-chalantly walking up behind you while you're laying on the couch or floor, plopping down on your ankles (pinning your bare feet), and immediately running her (always) long fingernails up & down your soles! Hah, before you even know what's happening, you're cracking up laughing and trying desperately to unpin your feet! And Nicole relishes every second of this, as she's usually laughing as hard as you are (or harder) as she dishes it out. She cannot walk by a bare foot without running a fingernail up the sole, just to see what the reaction will be (..I can't say any negative sh*t about this, because I am the same way. Bare feet, just sitting there vulnerable, MUST be tickled)! But now, in 2011, with two daughters, she has a coupla' all-too-willing helpers when these "attacks" happen, thereby insuring the next generation of mischievous feet ticklers is already set! Love ya', my lifelong friend, even tho' you are downright EVIL! ..But evil in a deliciously fun way!

Emilie: Bare Feet at Weddings =
Feet Tickled at Weddings! LOL!

     Finally, last but not least, is the hilarious & pretty, ultra-ticklish, and just plan amazing Emilie! Em & I were rockin' the dancefloor all night at her cousin Erin's wedding to my lifelong buddy Curt, and, of course, no surprise to anyone, we both had shoes off before anyone else at the reception, bare feet as soon as the party started, and joyfully stayed that way for the duration, even IF people were rolling their eyes at us! (Total normal behavior for this crew! LOL!!). In fact, Emilie, who is not from NY, and was meeting many of us for the first time, said to me, "I was a little worried what everyone was gonna think about the 'hick girl' from Michigan, with her shoes off & going barefoot all night.. Then I saw you barefoot, too, and I KNEW that we we were gonna have fun!!" (Awwwww, I truly loved hearing this! That sentence will always warm my heart!) ..As luck (or a very well-planned game plan by Erin) would have it, Emilie caught the thrown bouquet, and I caught the thrown garter. So then it was "showtime": time for me to apply the garter to her leg! I sauntered out to Emilie, sitting in the center of the dance floor on the chair, beautiful bare feet peeking out from her stunning bridesmaid dress, did a really goofy, stupid, dance, then kneeled down & took hold of her bare foot (Yes, I would have removed the shoe IF it was still on! C'mon, you HAVE to!), and, in front of the entire room, an audience of 200 people, began lightly tickling that bare foot, right in the "nuclear laughter zone": the arch! Hah, she stiffened up in the chair, and bit her smiling lip, trying to hold in the growing laugh that was trying to burst out! But then threw her head back, and laughed, wonderfully, out loud, which is exactly what I was going for! Being the, uh, sweetheart gentleman that I am, I was nice and took it easy on her, and only tickled her for maybe 5-7 seconds, at the most, then gently slipped the garter on, and we continued our awesome party night together, except that, after I tickled her bare feet, the night quickly became a "Who Can Tickle Whose Feet" contest, with both of us trying to sneak up on each other, to quickly get fingers on each other's feet when the other one wasn't looking! LOL! This meant sneaking up behind chairs, and reaching under tables when we were sitting next to each other! That was a FUN night, and Emilie most certainly got her revenge on my feet back on Erin's couch, when I was too intoxicated to escape...Not that I ever REALLY wanted to.. :)

The wedding reception, seconds AFTER Em's garter tickle!

     That's all for now. I'm sure there'll be plenty more of this to share down the road, as this is only the tip of the ticklish iceberg! Yeah, it might be totally weird to write a blog post about it, but tickling feet is perfect comedic FUN! So watch where you're barefoot, because you just never know who may be lurking around, looking for laughs... 



 

    











 













..More Wedding Reception Barefootin' ...(even without any shoe-theft pranks!)

When it comes to dancefloor fun and craziness,
if I'm the "King of Bare Feet",
then beautiful Ariel is definitely my Queen!

    
     "I never wear my shoes at weddings! In fact, I take my shoes off SO fast, it's like, 'Why bother even wearing them in?! I should just leave them in the car!!'" ..That great & hilarious quote is from my awesome pal, and fellow barefoot-a-holic, Ariel (pictured above, and to the right, havin' fun & barefoot boogie-ing at a family wedding), and she is exactly like me with the "shoes are overrated" mentality. You can't say we all don't have fun, right? Life's just more FUN w/o shoes, and that motto goes for just about anytime that you're not dealing with frostbite-inducing temperatures, sharp objects, or slugs in your yard!

Ariel's barefoot in the top photo, and she's
STILL rockin' dancefloors barefoot, no excuses!

     One other cute "shoes off" wedding moment for me came at my friends', Paul & Loretta, wedding a few years back. I was actually in the wedding party, and all prim & proper in my tuxedo (and horrifically tight patent leather shoes), as we did the introductions and then kicked off the reception full tilt. A few songs in, and I had only taken off the jacket & loosened the tie at that point, and I was on my way over to the bar for a couple of tequila shots, when I was corralled onto the dancefloor by Jen, who, once she got going, there was no slowing her down for the entire night. We were throwing it down pretty intensely to some great party tunes, and Jen leaned in and shouted in my ear, "My feet are killing me in these heels, but I don't know if I should take them off, because no one else has their shoes off, YET!!" ..I looked at her and laughed, and said, "What?!! Is that ALL you're worried about?!", and kicked off my dress shoes right there in the middle of the dancefloor. Then bent down, took her heels off for her, scooped up both pairs of our shoes, and softball tossed them over to our table, where they landed almost perfectly, with a thud, by our seats. And thus, just like that, it was shoes-off & bare feet for the rest of the night! A fantastic reception! Yeah, we were all verrrrrrrry drunk, and didn't really leave the dancefloor except to eat dinner, and for the cake-cutting/other wedding stuff. But it was easily proved once again: "Barefoot, anytime, anywhere"... And, for us..and most other people (even if they don't cut loose like us)..that phrase always = good times! ...More proof of this is in the photo below, and I truly feel bad for anyone that's never experienced being barefoot all night on a cool, smooth marble dancefloor!

Wedding Bare Feet & Pranks Aplenty! ..."Uhhh, where's my shoes?"

Coindre Mansion, Huntington, NY

     As was stated in an earlier blog, I am pretty much the "no shoes" guy at all points in my life, but especially when there's alcohol, friends, & a dancefloor involved! Things like weddings/engagements/other semi-formal parties, etc...it's always the "wind him up, watch him go" show! In the past, that meant ditching the shoes and basically doing a 50's-style sockhop in black socks the whole night. Never really cared what anyone thought, because it was never NOT fun for me! But there was funny prank incident, years ago, that began the transition from "sockhopping buffoon" to "barefoot ape", and there was just no looking back after that..
     The above photo is Coindre Mansion, in Huntington, NY, a beautiful, historic mansion that provides a picturesque, storybook backdrop for anyone's special day. My dear friends Denise & Pat got married there around 13-15 years ago, and it was one of the best, and one of the most fun, weddings I have ever attended. Such a great group of people to hang around & party with, and a fantastic collection of very funny personalities! But Coindre Manison, being the historic building that it is, never had A/C installed, EVER! So, if Mother Nature decides to drop an "Africa-hot" day in your lap, you just gotta deal with it. Well, that was the case on the day of Denise's wedding, where temperatures soared into the high 90's, with maximum humidity that was just strength-sapping. Didn't matter, though, because we were ALL ready to rock, and celebrate our awesome friends' big day!
     The reception began, the dancefloor filled up, and, even though the mansion had set up many industrial fans to circulate the air around, the brutal heat forced an almost instant disrobing of many articles of dress clothing: vests, ties, jackets, etc. ..Of course this also meant me immediately dumping off my dress shoes (which were boot-style) at my table with my jacket, rolling up the sleeves, loosening the tie, and hittin' the dancefloor in socks! Game on! The first funny moment of note was Annie, who was already barefoot, asking for my boots, so that she could put them on for some funny pictures. The sight of a tiny blond woman in my size 13 black boots definitely gave some people a few good laughs. Annie finished with the boots, put them back at my table, and the party continued in earnest; drinking, dancing, laughing.. About halfway through the reception, the sky could not hold back the oppresive humidity anymore, turned an ominous shade of dark purple, and an apocalyptic, torrential rainstorm began, with thunder & lightning so pronounced, it seemed like the storm was directly overhead! It was at that moment that I realized that I had left the gift card envelope above the sun visor in my car. I looked and saw how bad it was raining outside, and strolled over to my table to grab my shoes...GONE. What. The. Hell? Where are my shoes?? I went and asked Annie if she had taken them again, and she said no. Looked around for a few more minutes, and then asked my fantastic, lifelong friends, Mary & Dennis, if the had seen my shoes. They said no, but the looks on their faces totally gave it away. They had sneakily taken and hidden my shoes! Guilty!, but I had no proof AND no idea where they hid them! I even said, "Guys, I need my shoes! I gotta run out to my car!!" Nope, they were absolutey not budging on giving up the location of those shoes! So there I was, standing at the door of the mansion, looking out at the monsoon, looking down at my socks...and then, just like that, it was buh-bye socks! And the fastest barefoot sprint you've ever seen, out to my car to grab that money card! Hah, the rain was actually cooling for a few seconds, so, in hindsight, I didn't mind getting soaked for the 2 minutes I was out in the deluge! Left the dress socks in the car, and happily stayed barefoot for the rest of the reception! On the dancefloor again, Annie said to me, that phrase I hear ALL the time at these types of parties, "I LOVE that you're barefoot!" ..The reception was a intoxicated blast even before the shoe-hiding incident forced me outta my socks, but then it was just that much better afterwards! The capper is that I saw Annie out watching Sunday football with a group of people in 2009, and as we were reminiscing about "the good ol' days", Annie said to me, "Remember Pat & Denise's wedding??" Where I had your big black boots on, but then you were barefoot most of the night?! That's one of my favorite memories of you!!" ...Hah, little did we all know, that wouldn't be the last wedding reception I would be barefoot at! Now that I have dressy Steven Madden guys' flipflops (for dress-up days above 70 degrees!), and painted rockstar toes, it's a safe bet I'll be rocking all warm-weather receptions with NO annoying dress shoes & socks cutting down on my freedom! Plus, I never mind looking like a jackass..  :)

Of course, when you barefoot it all night, sometimes drunken bad things happen! OH WELL!

Me & my pal, Meg, rockin' our friend Mary's St. Pat's Day wedding barefoot. Her shoes are off and, trust me, the "dressy" Steve Madden flipflops that I wore to this particular wedding were long gone too! Bare feet + dancefloor + a few cocktails = Total WIN!

Holidays: HALLOWEEN TOES 2011!

The holiday cycle begins! Since my feet are anything BUT creepy & scary (an every-other-week pedi habit...plus "in-between maintenence"...keeps everything below the ankles lookin' awesome regularly!), I figure I'll do most of the major holidays in some kinda' toes theme..HALLOWEEN being my favorite! When you have a pedi professional who's as good an artist as Annie (at U2 Nails in Northport), you can stretch out and get creative! So now that OPI's "Shattered" or "crackle" is the new rage, I figured I'd rock some Halloween colors..orange base w/ black Shattered on top! Annie then wanted to paint spiders on each big toe (which she did last year, that pic is below this paragraph) but I convinced her to attempt some skulls. Pulled up a skull pic on the iphone, and BAM! ..My lil' Asian artist ROCKED IT!! Happy Halloween, everyone! Too bad it's gonna be too cold & nasty here in NY to do it barefoot or in flipflops! However, if I am at a warm, toasty party at someone's house (and not a grungy, beer-soaked bar floor), then these babies are definitely coming out!

Pedicure Scrubby Doom! .."OMG, That Really Tickles!!"..Commence Squirming (and Laughing)

..Shooka shooka shooka shooka... That's usually the subtle sound that precedes the laughing (or the attempt not to).. Shooka shooka shooka shooka ..The sound that usually initiates some kind of involuntary spasm or flinch, or in my case, gripping the arms of the chair so tightly, that I almost leave finger marks in them. If you've ever gotten a pedicure before, and you're even remotely ticklish on your feet, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Not gonna' lie, it's kinda' fun to have done, yet it can be almost friggin' unbearable at times. I'm talking about the "pumice scrubby stone" that the pedi folks seem to loooooooove running up & down the bottoms of your feet, supposedly to remove dead skin & callouses, but probably because it's comedically entertaining to them to do it! Put it this way, at my place, U2 Nails (Northport, NY), the girls are all Chinese. I think there is a reason that something exists called "Chinese Tickle Torture", because my regular girl, Annie, goes fairly easy on me with the scrubby..But if I get two or three of the other girls, they seem to relish watching me trying not to laugh, and my head turning a unique shade of purple, as they give me the extended scrub..and laughing themselves as they ask, "Ohhhh, you tickrish?" ..Naaaaahhhh, what would've ever given you that idea?? The holding in of a giggle? The borderline-epileptic convulsions? The beads of sweat on my reddish/purple forehead?  My friend Rachael actually brought up the great point of "Why do they even run that thing up in the arch?" Callouses are usually heels & balls-of-the-foot, but those pedi girls/guys suuuuuuuure do love blasting that scrubby in people's arches! Haha, but don't get me wrong, it actually is enjoyable, even if unbearable, to have done, because the reactions ARE fun and, hey, the comedy IS therapeutic anyway, right? OK, so the video above is me, of course, getting my scrubby "shooka shooka shooka" on at the pedi place, over a year ago. But there's a GREAT backstory..First off, the filming of this hilarity only happened because my dear childhood friend, Nicole, who looooves watching me squirm (or causing the squirming), insisted on filming it and immediately posting it online..(Love YOU, my evil childhood friend!)..Second, I was gonna prepare myself, try a mind-over-matter approach and focus intensely, and hold back the laughing this time. Well, that all went out the window when my friend Christina, on my right side, told me a hilarious story from her job as a nurse at a senior facility: It was time for the changing of an elderly person's very full (poopsie!)adult diaper, who was being crabby & difficult, and thus, didn't want their diaper changed. After much pleading & negotiating, all to no avail, a tug of war ensued, with Christina & her fellow nurse co-worker pulling on the loaded diaper to try and get it off, and the elderly person pulling back with both hands, trying to keep the diaper on. Well, what would give? Those tape straps that hold the diaper on! The diaper tore loose, flew across the room, emptying its contents all over the wall in true horror-movie "blood-splatter" fashion! Christina exploded, yelling every obscenity known to man, while the co-worker just stood there motionless, panic-screaming like she was actually in the movie, "Scream"! ...OK, there it is, the full backstory.. So now, when you watch the above video, and you see me laughing as it starts, it's because Christina had just told me that "poop story" before Nicole pressed the "record" button! I was already cracking up before the scrubby even started! There was absolutely no mind-over-matter possible at that point! (You can even hear me reference the "poop story" and "crap story" through my laughing) ..Still, made for a funny video that got more than a few views on youtube! And yes, I am quite sure there will be a few more sequels filmed of me being "tormented" in a pedi chair! Apparently, it's pretty funny stuff  ..Shooka shooka shooka shooka...

Shoes? They're Overrated ...A.K.A. "Got barefoot?"



YES!

     To say that I tend to be barefoot (or in flipflops) as much as humanly possible would be a pretty big understatement. Fortunately I was blessed with really, REALLY good feet (that I take ridiculously good care of), so I can pull that off without ever worrying! ..So, what would I chalk up this all-consuming hatred of wearing "regular" shoes & socks to? Hmmm, besides being somewhat of a freak or slightly weird...ok, yes, more than slightly...would it be a "growing up in Northport, NY" thing? Because it was sure easy growing up here, going barefoot almost anyplace you would feel like it, when you spent the formative years of your life in a waterfront, beach-community town. But many of my friends who didn't grow up in Northport, or even close to the water, have the same 'No Shoes' attitude as I do. And at Northport high school back in the late 80's, it was almost commonplace to leave your sneakers in your locker (or carry 'em with you), and go to class barefoot when the weather was warm enough, usually from mid/late-May on. Or, when you finally started driving, you'd have shoes for the morning classes, shoot down to Crab Meadow or Asharoken Beach on the lunch period (it was an open campus), recklessly speed back to class, haphazardly park (because now you were late), leave your shoes/sneakers/flipflops in your car, and spend the last 2 or 3 periods shoeless! ..It was always funny to have one of the afternoon teachers comment, "Uh, didn't you have shoes on when I saw you this morning?" Hah, but then some of those teachers were guilty of the same "hippie behavior" as us teenagers! Mrs. Hickey, my 11th grade math teacher, would kick her heels off almost everyday, teach the class barefoot, with not a care in the world! Of course, I thought this was cool-as-hell, because my mentality was exactly the same way! And in 9th grade, it was my social studies teacher, Ms. Kroon, who at least 2-3 times a week, would sit at her desk (while we all reading text or readying to take notes), and you would hear the "ka-klunk ka-klunk" sound of shoes hitting the floor, and she would then walk around the rest of the class period, teaching in her stocking feet..(Ugh, is there any term worse than "stocking feet"? It just sounds like it shoulda' really been left back in 1924). Well, whatever the reason is for never wanting to wear shoes & socks, I never grew out of it, and now as I approach those middle-age years, I'm probably way more outta' control now than I ever was as a kid! No problems here, I am surely happy with that character flaw! Especially since I always do the "crazy painted toes" pedicure thing now! I only wear flipflops all year, until the temperatures get down to the frostbite/dangerous levels, but it's to the point that I actually went out, 2 yrs. ago, and bought some nice Steve Madden dressy leather guys' flipflops, to wear to all summer/warm weather weddings, engagement parties, etc., JUST so I can leave 'em at the table after a few (too many) drinks, and rock the dancefloor barefoot, to a MASSIVE number of kudos, compliments, and yes, many people wanting to snap pictures of my silly, painted-toes!! Besides my sister's wedding (in which I was running around playing host, taking pictures, conversing with everyone, and not really hitting the dancefloor), I canNOT remember the last wedding reception, or other semi-formal party, that I actually wore my shoes at (Yes, maybe there's a liquid-based reason I can't remember)! Seriously, if it wasn't "flipflops off & drunken barefoot dancefloor boogiedown", then it was "dress shoes off & drunken sliding around in socks the entire night"! ..The picture at the top of this post was from Sept. 2010, my friend Meghan's incredible wedding. 4 songs in, those Madden flipflops were off, and dancin' barefoot (Intox? Yep!) for the next 4 hours. The funny part about that picture is that it was taken by the professional wedding photographer, who musta' saw me with my camoflage toes, came up and asked, "Sir, is it OK if we get a picture of your feet?" Haha! Why, sure you can, buddy!!! And Meghan's mom, who I had never met before that reception, came up to me at one point, and said, "I saw you dancing barefoot from across the room, and I LOVE that you're not wearing shoes! I had to come over and meet you because you look like you're having so much fun!!"  I was! ...And really, isn't that what it's all about in the end? BARE FEET = FUN ....Disclaimer: As long as YOU take care of your feet!!   ...(Below is me & Meghan again, from our friend Mary's St. Pat's Day Wedding, 2011.. Yes, those are shamrocks on my big toes! And, no surprise, Meg & I were pretty much the first ones losin' the shoes at that reception. Some things you canNOT change, so don't even try! :)

Why Not Pedi?

First off, I don't have a "foot fetish", per se. If you do, whatever, it's all good, I don't judge people (or at least I TRY not to). But I don't sneak around sniffing people's shoes like a creep, or doing "adult acts" to pictures of feet. I don't really quite get that aspect, but it's 2011, so if that's your thing, then, hey, whatever floats your boat (as long as you ain't a "Jerry Sandusky")...  ..Me, I just hate wearing shoes, love going barefoot as much as possible, and now have what I would term a "healthy addiction" to pedicures! This crazy toes game that I play started 2 yrs ago, at a drunken football playoff party (Chargers/Steelers AFC title game) when a bud's wife found out I was getting regular pedicures to take care of my feet (and because they feel freakin' AWESOME, especially with the extra foot massage & hot gel soak!), and said to me, "That's really great that you get pedis, but you don't have the balls to get your toes painted black!"  ..I didn't have to answer her because my pal, her husband, turned to her and said, "Why would you do that? You KNOW he will!" ...(Editor's note: I'll do just about anything that won't get me locked up, screw up my career, or make me a parapelegic)... Painted toes are easy, they ain't permanent like tats! If you get sick of it, there's always nail polish remover! And I haven't gotten sick of it yet, waaaaaaaay to many great compliments from random strangers and friends alike! Some think it's hilarious, some think I'm a psycho, some think I'm playing for "the other team" (insert the Seinfeld line here)..whatever, I love it (now one of my favorite hobbies) and love taking it to the extreme, which you will all see when I figure out how to upload pics on this thing! The basic rule is, if you're gonna enjoy going barefoot as much as I do (which is basically "whenever, wherever"), then take care of your feet. No one likes looking down and seeing two ugly, hygenic disasters attached to your ankles. ..And to tell the truth, I like my time with the ladies at the pedi place. My female friends, friends' wives, & random stranger chicks...AND the chinese girls who work there..all seem to get pure elation outta seeing me in that pedi chair, seeing me struggle not to laugh when they do that scrubby part to the bottoms of my feet (The funny videos that are right below this paragraph, but more to come on that "scrubby" subject later!), and marveling at whatever crazy art design I decide to slap on my ten lil' celebrities! No exaggeration, the

compliments on the finished work are always off the charts! Yep, it's ALL good. If Gene Simmons, Ozzy, Shaq, & Chuck Liddell can get their toes painted, so can I...  Stay tuned..