Best. Motto. Ever.

Best. Motto. Ever.
You'll hear me repeat it until my dying day: "BARE FEET = HAPPY LIFE!" ...It's THAT simple!

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Tales of the Ticklish: The Brilliance of Howard Stern's Tickle Chair :)

 
Awesome laughing from Instagram, and makes
me wonder why Howard chose the rickety lawn
chair, instead of something sturdier,
for his "Tickle Chair"

     Tickle, tickle, tickle.. Still makes me laugh, giggle, smile, (or any other variation of those) and generally just puts me in an awesome, happy mood whenever I experience it myself, see it happening to others, or hear someone's robust ticklish laughter! I've blogged here before about the fun of tickling bare feet (or being on the receiving end), and those blogposts seem to be the most popular out of any that I've written. Readers love my crazy pedicure art & cool toes stories, but they REALLY seem to love when I write about ticklish feet! Go figure! People love this sh*t!
     Someone else who definitely gets it is the amazing "King of All Media", the great Howard Stern.. For years now, he has had certain visiting celebrities agree to be strapped in his tickle chair (basically, a reclining wooden lawn chair with velcro straps), and answer either general 6th grade trivia questions, OR probing, personal life questions, while getting their bare feet tickled (if they answer incorrectly or refuse to answer the question that was asked). It really is absolutely brilliant from a comedy standpoint, and, honestly, I have been late to work many times over the years, as a guest would be strapped in the chair, loudly laughing on the air, having their feet tickled, and I would be parked in my car, directly outside of work, unable to turn the show off & go in, because I was enjoying it so much, just sitting there laughing in my driver's seat! Having to make that phone call that I was, "Uhhh, stuck in traffic..", while giggling is not easy, I assure you!! I've listened to Howard for about 25 years, heard soooooo many great guests & interviews on that show, but I count his tickle-chair shows amongst my all-time favorites, with tickle chair "victims" that included Belinda Carlisle (from the Go-Go's"),  Access Hollywood's Maria Menunous (who was less ticklish on her feet, but then Howard moved to her ribs for the big laughter WIN),  porn star Jenna Jameson (that was the creepy "Yaqui the Tickler" appearance, but, still, Jenna was utterly howling with laughter at her underarms being tickled),  Stern show co-host Artie Lange, Pamela Anderson, and Carmen Electra. Carmen's appearance was fantastic, with great, hysterical laughing by her, and the fact that she almost broke the chair from badly convulsing while being tickled! 
Natalie Raitano
     But, by far, the best tickle chair episode ever was during the Pamela Anderson appearance, when her co-star from the short-lived TV show, "VIP", Natalie Raitano, took a turn in the chair! If you've ever seen that early 2000's show, about three female Hollywood bodyguards, Natalie's character was the tough one, never smiled on the show, always walked around with an angry, serious face on.. So then, it was a true treat to hear her laughing HYSTERICALLY in the tickle chair, as she had ridiculously ticklish bare feet (kinda' like your favorite blog author, here!), and even better, was being able to watch this hilarity on Howard's E Network TV show, when they broadcast it a few days later! That episode was so funny, it makes me wish that Howard would put a DVD out, with all the tickle-chair appearances from over the years. You could easily fill 60 minutes worth of material! I would buy it in a nanosecond, and watch it whenever I was having a crummy day, or just felt like a general, don't-take-life-too-serious laugh! For me, tickling feet is simply about a love of making people laugh & passion for making them feel better. Tickling feet (and being tickled, in return) is just pure funny, positivity.. And, sometimes, "funny" is all you need to get through the day!  :)


Laugh, Natalie, Laugh!!  LOL!



Friday, May 17, 2013

Bare Feet At Work, Bare Feet into Retirement :)

20 years of work.. Walkin' out to retirement barefoot!
The only way it should be, if the weather gods cooperate!
(That's OPI blue w/ white OPI Shattered on my toes!)
     Being a "barefoot-aholic" throughout my entire 40+ years of life, I had always dreamed of having a job where you could be barefoot at work all day, and never hear any shit about it! The easy spots for that are lifeguard (or pro swimmer), yoga coach (or gymnast), or martial arts instructor (or professional MMA fighter), but I always also thought that if I worked in a quiet, carpeted place..like, say, a library, behind a pharmacy counter (like in the photo below), my own office, etc..that I would just say, "Screw it!", and go barefoot at work anyway! As it worked out, life led me to my career with the NYPD, and that means boots. Big, stupid, black tactical boots. And black socks, because that's uniform standard. Ugh. A barefooter's worst nightmare! But it ain't like you can do patrol in flipflops or barefoot! That might just prove to be a teensy-weensy problematic (Ya' think?!).. However, during Saturday day shifts, when it was just me doing law enforcement-related paperwork in a locked, empty office all day, then all bets..and all shoes..were off, and it was "Bare Feet at Work" day! And now, I just retired yesterday, 20 years & done. So, how do you think it would end? Hah, read on, my friends..

        
Instagram user, P.Marie, barefoot at her pharmacy job.. :)
      

     At this point, I gotta shout out some love out to my sweet, priceless friend, and fellow bare feet addict, Ruby, for her amazingly hilarious idea that I should ditch the flipflops, and be walking outta work barefoot on my last day of work with the New York City Police Dept., which was yesterday, May 16th, 2013!! See, as much as I am an over-the-top, go ANYwhere without shoes, "don't care what others may think about it" BAREFOOTER SUPREME, even I hadn't thought to stroll out of work yesterday, on the last day of my career, with happy freedom toes flying free! It was after I told Ruby a really funny recent story about my flip-flops almost blowing off the precinct roof (five stories up), two weeks ago (while I had them off & my bare feet up on a folding chair, trying to smoke a cigar on an brutally windy day), that Ruby laughed and exclaimed, "OMG, you really have to walk out barefoot on your last day!!" ..And at first I thought, "Nahhhhhh, I'm not doing that", but then, literally, ten seconds later, I started thinking, "That is the absolute most perfect end that I could ever write to my career!".. I mean, all of my friends & family members have seen me at their weddings, sliding around the dancefloor in black dress socks, or, even better, just completely, joyfully barefoot (and everyone going photo nuts over my painted, rockstar toes)! They've all completely known how happy the topic of bare feet has made me for years now, too! Once the idea picked up momentum, there was no way I wasn't walking out barefoot, to the applause of my co-workers, who have also known about my "anti-shoes" attitude for years now. ..And plus, walking out to retirement, while in bare feet, is such an un-coplike thing to do (because of our paramilitary discipline structure), that it made it all the more fun & delicious to do that silly, barefoot stroll! ..Well, yesterday, my career ended on a major, funny high note. It was a cute moment, for sure, and a bonafide comedy HIT! I walked out barefoot at 3:45pm, to the applause of over 30 of my co-workers, and we were all laughing, which definitely prevented some sad, "parting ways" crying, and, thus, I exited the only way that Big Al ever should: smiling, and without shoes on his feet! So thanks, my dear Ruby! That idea was your baby! I love you for suggesting it, and I love ME for running with it! Bare feet at work..Bare feet into retirement! Bare feet FOREVER!


Yep, it's hard to tell, but there ain't no shoes
 on that happy big lug's awesome bare feet! Peace out, everyone!







Friday, May 3, 2013

Summer's Coming 2013, part 2: A Funny Bare Feet Day Outta' Nowhere

Ruby (NJ)
Me (NY)
Erin (FL)
     Continuing the theme of the last blogpost, yesterday was a really funny bare feet-related day, that was totally unexpected but, nonetheless, very welcome! As mentioned in that last blog, my dear friend, Ruby, and I have this cute, little, silly game that we play, where we text each other our bare feet at random points throughout the day, with whatever activity we're doing at the time. Whether it's at a sports event (like a Phillies game.. Right, Ruby? LOL), with shoes-off & bare feet relaxing, or at the library, in the backyard, at the supermarket, at a wedding reception..wherever we are, if there's a funny barefoot picture to be taken, we send it to each other! So, there I am, chilling out on the rooftop at work, which I tend to do a LOT, bare feet up and cigar lit. I text Ruby a "hello!" photo to show her my rockstar-painted toes are happily sun-worshipping. Not to be outdone, Ruby texts me her bare feet in return, as she was out in the backyard, "supervising" the landscapers working on the yard pond! Nice! But then, we get a 3rd set of bare feet joining the party, as my beautiful friend in Orlando, Erin, says me a bare feet hello from sunny & 80-degrees down south! This makes me chuckle, because you can never have enough bare feet happiness in life! I get the urge to talk to a friend, so I text Ruby that I would love to actually talk on the phone (People still DO that?!!), have some laughs, and catch up on life, because it's been awhile since we heard each other's voices. A few minutes later, Ruby rings my cel phone, and I get up from the chair to shuffle around (barefoot) on that warm, sunny NYC rooftop, while I'm about to love every minute of conversation with sweet Ruby. ..Now, I've written many times of my love of dancing barefoot all night with my amazing female friends & dates at various wedding receptions, and at those alcohol-fueled bashes, it's not a stretch to say that my feet definitely take a beating, ending up fairly dirty by the end of the night. But, you wanna know my opinion on dirty feet? Unless you're a homeless person who has no access to a shower, if the bottoms of your bare feet are dirty, then, 9 times outta 10, it means that YOU had a pretty awesome time with your shoes off! However, it usually takes me 3 or 4 hours of drunken, bare feet dancing, fun for my feet to get all filthed up. I talked with Ruby for a grand total of 23 minutes, walking around on that rooftop, and as I said that I loved her, and loved finally getting the chance to talk, I glanced down at the sole of my foot! HOLY CRAP! 23 minutes of "urban rooftop bare feet", and I went from spotless, immaculate feet to Grateful Dead/Phish hippie feet! LOL!!! Thank God for moisturizing Dove bodywash & a shower brush! I texted Ruby a funny picture of my now-horrific feet, causing her to bust out laughing at my icky predicament! Then I also texted a pic to Erin, who sent me back her dirty feet, describing, "I've been barefoot all day too! Look what I'm dealing with!" LOL! ..This IS the price we pay for being awesome barefooters, and it's a price we are HAPPY to pay, baby! Now back to the pedicure place.. STAT! :)
23 minutes of bare feet urban rooftop strolling and it's "Phish feet"!
Erin's "barefoot-all-day" results mirror my 23 minutes!